March 20 was World Frog Day as well as the Vernal Equinox.
In order to celebrate World Frog Day properly, one must obtain a frog and a blender...
sapphoq n friends
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Two Things to Worry About
shout out to rebellion dawgs for telling me this variant of heaven no worries/hell shaking hands with your buddies who are there too:
A Jewish guy got drafter for the war and he was worried. So he went to his rabbi. The rabbi told him this:
Son, after training you will be assigned to a combat unit or a non-combat unit. If you are assigned to a non-combat unit, you have nothing to worry about. If you are assigned to a combat unit, you will have two things to worry about.
Either you will be assigned to combat or assigned to something other than direct combat. If you are assigned to something other than direct combat, you have nothing to worry about. If you are assigned to direct combat, you will have two things to worry about.
Either you will get injured or you won't. If you don't get injured, you have nothing to worry about. If you do get injured either you will recover or you won't.
If you recover, you have nothing to worry about. If you don't recover, you will have two things to worry about. Either you will live with your injuries or you will die.
If you live with your injuries, you have nothing to worry about. If you die, you have two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you still have nothing to worry about because they take bribes in hell.
sapphoq n friends
A Jewish guy got drafter for the war and he was worried. So he went to his rabbi. The rabbi told him this:
Son, after training you will be assigned to a combat unit or a non-combat unit. If you are assigned to a non-combat unit, you have nothing to worry about. If you are assigned to a combat unit, you will have two things to worry about.
Either you will be assigned to combat or assigned to something other than direct combat. If you are assigned to something other than direct combat, you have nothing to worry about. If you are assigned to direct combat, you will have two things to worry about.
Either you will get injured or you won't. If you don't get injured, you have nothing to worry about. If you do get injured either you will recover or you won't.
If you recover, you have nothing to worry about. If you don't recover, you will have two things to worry about. Either you will live with your injuries or you will die.
If you live with your injuries, you have nothing to worry about. If you die, you have two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you still have nothing to worry about because they take bribes in hell.
sapphoq n friends
Monday, December 28, 2009
The Dog and her Presents
The other day, my aunt sent home a stuffed toy that resembled a large bone in a zebra coat for the dog. A couple of years ago, my aunt had sent one in a leopard coat. The dog pried the new stuffed "bone" out of my hands, trotted off to the kitchen with it and deposited it next to the leopard coated stuffed "bone."
Later, a friend gave me a cloth chicken for the dog. She laid that one down on "her" living room throw rug alongside her "green bird", "ducky" and "quack quack."
She's either a very smart dog or I am adept at anthropomorph-ing her. I'm willing to go with the idea that the second incident of "things with wings" perhaps was random. But with the two stuffed bones, the first "bone" was in a place where her toys specifically usually are not found. Maybe she recognized the new "bone" as having the same shape as the older one. Maybe she identified the scent on both as having originated from my aunt. Maybe it was just a bit of whimsy.
I also share quarters with two cats. The older cat is more retiring although I am convinced that he likes us well enough. The younger is bold. He will eat out of the dog's dish (to the utter dismay of the dog), investigate anything in his path, and responds to the doorbell. When the cable guy came once (a man that the cat had never met), the cat walked across his papers, pawed at the guy, demanded attention. The younger cat is also gifted. After my cross-country trip, I deposited the dog's new "quack-quack" in her water dish while she was in the back yard. The cat quickly walked over to the bowl and knocked the duck out of the water dish with one paw. He then retreated to his nap spot.
I put the duck back in the water dish and called the dog inside. She tentatively picked up the new "quack-quack," and squeezed it several times so it produced a series of sounds that were intended to resemble a duck's voice (I guess) and then promptly went to the back door with it. I had to demand that she leave the "quack-quack" inside the house. Dog was disappointed as she clearly wanted the annoying thing OUT. Dog has since resigned herself to the presence of the "quack-quack" in her domicile. Occasionally she engages in squeezing the duck so it emits that horrid sound over and over again-- particularly when husband is concentrating on television.
sapphoq n friends
Later, a friend gave me a cloth chicken for the dog. She laid that one down on "her" living room throw rug alongside her "green bird", "ducky" and "quack quack."
She's either a very smart dog or I am adept at anthropomorph-ing her. I'm willing to go with the idea that the second incident of "things with wings" perhaps was random. But with the two stuffed bones, the first "bone" was in a place where her toys specifically usually are not found. Maybe she recognized the new "bone" as having the same shape as the older one. Maybe she identified the scent on both as having originated from my aunt. Maybe it was just a bit of whimsy.
I also share quarters with two cats. The older cat is more retiring although I am convinced that he likes us well enough. The younger is bold. He will eat out of the dog's dish (to the utter dismay of the dog), investigate anything in his path, and responds to the doorbell. When the cable guy came once (a man that the cat had never met), the cat walked across his papers, pawed at the guy, demanded attention. The younger cat is also gifted. After my cross-country trip, I deposited the dog's new "quack-quack" in her water dish while she was in the back yard. The cat quickly walked over to the bowl and knocked the duck out of the water dish with one paw. He then retreated to his nap spot.
I put the duck back in the water dish and called the dog inside. She tentatively picked up the new "quack-quack," and squeezed it several times so it produced a series of sounds that were intended to resemble a duck's voice (I guess) and then promptly went to the back door with it. I had to demand that she leave the "quack-quack" inside the house. Dog was disappointed as she clearly wanted the annoying thing OUT. Dog has since resigned herself to the presence of the "quack-quack" in her domicile. Occasionally she engages in squeezing the duck so it emits that horrid sound over and over again-- particularly when husband is concentrating on television.
sapphoq n friends
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