Spammers Will Spam

with sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss and no intention of infringing upon Twitter's trademark, name, profits, or anything else.


I am on Twitter Inc. most every day
but I wish the spammers would go away.
They think that I am stupid enough to click
Their U.R.L.s and other ick.
Only four percent of tweets are spam.
But still I really want to slam
those spammers back into the can.
I spam block and report and tweet and tweet
that the spammers really aren't so neat.
The support team does its' best to ban
those pesky spammers promoting spam.

I do not like all this spammity spam.
I want to bang up the spammers with a BLAM.
I do not like things this way.
I want the spammers to go away.

But the spammers multiply day and night
In spite of what I do to fight
The accounts that pop up with a fright.
"Look what they said about you," they say.
I just want them to go away.
"You've been picked for this or that,"
A special prize or a chance to make a psychic's wallet fat.
Up goes the dot before their "at"
As I tweet about the latest scam
I don't care who they are but I know who I am.
I am not a fool born yesterday.

I do not like all this spammity spam.
I want to bang up the spammers with a BLAM.
I do not like things this way.
I want the spammers to go away.

Spammers in my mailbox and everywhere.
A spammer here and a spammer there.
Here a spammer, there some spam
promoting infected websites or some scam.
I think the spammers should get jobs with the government.
They are the same sort of miscreants
As the politicians who lie to our faces every day
About the actions of the N.S.A.
Spammers must think their lives are easy
But they turn my stomach and make me queasy
Thinking about scumbag spammers in a pan.

I do not like all this spammity spam.
I want to bang up the spammers with a BLAM.
I do not like things this way.
I want the spammers to go away.

Spammers are worse than cellulite.
Spammers are worse than a rabid dog bite.
Spammers are worse than stepping in shit,
A broken heel and then falling in it.
Spammers are worse than pimples full of pus.
Spammers are worse than being stuck
On a broken down bus in the muck.
Spammers are worse than corrupted kings.
Spammers are worse than many things.
Spammers are not as bad as the N.S.A.
But that is subject to change any day.

I do not like all this spammity spam.
I want to bang up the spammers with a BLAM.
I do not like things this way.
I want the spammers to go away.

I am on Twitter Inc. most every day
but I wish the spammers would go away.
They think that I am stupid enough to click
Their U.R.L.s and other ick.
Only four percent of tweets are spam.
But still I really want to slam
those spammers back into the can.
I spam block and report and tweet and tweet
that the spammers really aren't so neat.
The support team does its' best to ban
those pesky spammers promoting spam.

c 2014 and beyond. This bad poem may be reproduced as long as you give credit to 
   sapphoq for its' origin.

Snark Tags...because we do not always have to play nicely

I have observed lately on Twitter that a certain butthurt woman is now claiming that a buddy of mine from Ireland is a pedophiliac.  Certain butthurt woman has an established history of claiming that people who refuse to buy into her revisionistic history of her histrionic reactions to reality are aiding and abetting a giant pedo ring in the state of Maine which chiefly involve a daughter that she has lost any parental rights to-- by her own doing-- and that daughter's half-sister.  Those who need to know are aware of the drama.  If you don't know, count yourself fortunate that you remain untouched by the rantings of a raving lunatic.

These snark tags were created in order to encourage my Twitter buddy and cohorts to remember that bad behavior on the part of one butthurt individual says way more about her than it does about the rest of us.

                         Chins up.  Troll on.  Sail strong. 

If any of the rest of you want these, right click to save to your computer. 

sapphoq n friends

And to the people who do not understand copyright, I made these from pictures that I took.  So go away.  I hate you.

Hashtag Socks

And it came to pass that there was one who had many many socks on the social media platform Twitter [no copyright infringement intended].  These socks were not used in a righteous manner but in order to promote her cause.  These socks and variants were found sprinkled across the world wide web as well, defending her butthurt against the hoards.

     In the morning, #Fakery sneeks into Twitter with little trollette feet.

      #GrossCustodialInterference: I am the custodian of my snots and you just tried to pick my nose. Bawaaaaaahaaaaah.

     When #Fakery quotes lies at me, my head implodes.

     #Fakery stalks her own #socks.

     Amazing #socks how warped the brain...

     #Socks and #Fakers and #Lies-- oh my.

     There's something #twisted about #socks tweeting to each other.

     A #sock without a #fake persona is like a peanut butter sandwich without the pickles or mayo. #JustSaying

     Sorting through the #socks... [sung to the tune of "bringing in the sheaves"] 

     The #socks are great with that one.

     When life gives you #socks, sign up for more email addys. /snark 


And thus there came to be the hashtag #socks, having judged it to be preferable to #overthehumpday Wednesday.  And a few of the people laughed and fewer of the people were #butthurt and most of them didn't really care either way.

     Now Playing: serious #LULZ and #butthurt. Joke'em if they can't take a fruck.

     Security tip: Change your #socks.

     #IfYouGazeLong into the eyes of a #Fake, all of her #socks will gaze back at you. 

     You must remember this. A #sock is just a #sock. A #fake is but a #fake... 

     #Socks, socks, what would we ever do without socks? Our feet would be lonely and our shoes would be smellier.

     Row row row your #socks  
     Gently down Twitter Stream.

And the promoter of the hashtag #socks [not having paid to promote it, because that would be not in true form with the promoter's personna] and the two or three others who found it delicious laughed until they spewed their coffees on their tables and desks.

     My #socks love me this I know, Cuz my fanbase tells me so.

     Oh, what a tangled heap of #socks we weave.

     It's beginning to look a lot like #Sockmas.

     Some #socks over the rainbow...

     I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and #socks.

     Smoke #socks. Smoke #socks. Everybody smoke #socks.

     There's some #socks in my beer and I want to know what they're doing there.

And that was as it should be.  

     I snark #socks, therefore I am.

     #Sock the planet.

     I am the recipient of #hostile looks from my #sock basket. Equal rights for all #socks! Huh? Uh, nooooo.

     #Socks on the run.  

     Oh we gotta have #socks...

     Celebrate. Celebrate your #socks. 

     BE the #sock.

     The #socks compelled me. 

     #Sock-a-do. 

And so, the great #sock-a-thon was ended.

     #Sock-ing right along. The dog compels me to come up for air, so I must go out for air, away away from these smelly #socks. #awayfromtwitter

sapphoq n sapphoq's sock puppets say:The creator of this blog post has many #socks and email accounts to go with them.  The creator of this blog post understands the necessity of laughing gently at ourselves.                          If you or your #socks were #butthurt by this blog post, then maybe you are in the wrong #drawer.