Socks

     Socks. She had over twenty of them. Not in the sense of "We're all socks here." No. Pathetic socks. Socks that tweeted to each other. Carried on whole conversations. Complimented each other as they collectively bashed in the figurative heads of Those Who Dared To Disagree.

     Those Who Dared To Disagree were especially troublesome to her. She valued her cheer-leading squad-- the few she had found-- and verbally assaulted Those Who Dared To Disagree. She flung around her favorite word at them. See here. Take that. Pedophile. Or sometimes, Paedophile.

     Just as in real life, she ran after anyone she thought she could suck into her web of deceit. Anyone who didn't respond or didn't jump on her bandwagon became her target. And there were many of those. She claimed that they were trolls on the payroll. 

     Trolls on the payroll were vicious and nasty things. They were Those Who Dared To Disagree. They had committed the ultimate sin. They deserved her hatred. They were hideous. She despised them. 

     She was a pathetic woman with pathetic socks who held pathetic conversations and tweeted pathetic links to her pathetic writing. She thought she had it going on. Go figure.


                       ~ sapphoq, a troll on the payroll? ~


Please credit this "story" to sapphoq if you reproduce this in any media, although I don't know why you would want to reproduce this anywhere.

Here are the 12 suggested steps for people whose socks are out of control.  With no apologies to A.A. or any other 12 step program:



 
I admitted that I was powerless over my many socks, that I couldn't keep them sorted, and that my sock drawer had become a mess.

I came to believe that a Troll possessing mad skillz could restore me to sanitary.

I made a decision to turn my socks and my feeble attempts at humor over to the care of the Troll of my imagination.

I took an inventory of my sock drawer.

I admitted to Troll, to myself, and to one other sock-puppet the exact mess in my sock drawer.

I became willing to throw out some of the socks.

I asked Troll to remove the excessive socks but Troll handed me a wastebasket instead.

I made a list of all socks I had butt-hurt and thought about whether or not I was sorry; and whether or not to admit to being sorry.

I made direct amends to some of the socks I had butt-hurt except if they were dead. If it was a legal thing, I waited at least 8 years.

I continued to inventory my sock drawer and mended or threw out socks as needed.

I sought through the Twitter-Creek to discern the LULZ of Troll.

Having had a rude wake-up call as a result of these ideas, I kept spreading this message to other socks and to finesse my troll skillz.

Hashtag Socks

And it came to pass that there was one who had many many socks on the social media platform Twitter [no copyright infringement intended].  These socks were not used in a righteous manner but in order to promote her cause.  These socks and variants were found sprinkled across the world wide web as well, defending her butthurt against the hoards.

     In the morning, #Fakery sneeks into Twitter with little trollette feet.

      #GrossCustodialInterference: I am the custodian of my snots and you just tried to pick my nose. Bawaaaaaahaaaaah.

     When #Fakery quotes lies at me, my head implodes.

     #Fakery stalks her own #socks.

     Amazing #socks how warped the brain...

     #Socks and #Fakers and #Lies-- oh my.

     There's something #twisted about #socks tweeting to each other.

     A #sock without a #fake persona is like a peanut butter sandwich without the pickles or mayo. #JustSaying

     Sorting through the #socks... [sung to the tune of "bringing in the sheaves"] 

     The #socks are great with that one.

     When life gives you #socks, sign up for more email addys. /snark 


And thus there came to be the hashtag #socks, having judged it to be preferable to #overthehumpday Wednesday.  And a few of the people laughed and fewer of the people were #butthurt and most of them didn't really care either way.

     Now Playing: serious #LULZ and #butthurt. Joke'em if they can't take a fruck.

     Security tip: Change your #socks.

     #IfYouGazeLong into the eyes of a #Fake, all of her #socks will gaze back at you. 

     You must remember this. A #sock is just a #sock. A #fake is but a #fake... 

     #Socks, socks, what would we ever do without socks? Our feet would be lonely and our shoes would be smellier.

     Row row row your #socks  
     Gently down Twitter Stream.

And the promoter of the hashtag #socks [not having paid to promote it, because that would be not in true form with the promoter's personna] and the two or three others who found it delicious laughed until they spewed their coffees on their tables and desks.

     My #socks love me this I know, Cuz my fanbase tells me so.

     Oh, what a tangled heap of #socks we weave.

     It's beginning to look a lot like #Sockmas.

     Some #socks over the rainbow...

     I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and #socks.

     Smoke #socks. Smoke #socks. Everybody smoke #socks.

     There's some #socks in my beer and I want to know what they're doing there.

And that was as it should be.  

     I snark #socks, therefore I am.

     #Sock the planet.

     I am the recipient of #hostile looks from my #sock basket. Equal rights for all #socks! Huh? Uh, nooooo.

     #Socks on the run.  

     Oh we gotta have #socks...

     Celebrate. Celebrate your #socks. 

     BE the #sock.

     The #socks compelled me. 

     #Sock-a-do. 

And so, the great #sock-a-thon was ended.

     #Sock-ing right along. The dog compels me to come up for air, so I must go out for air, away away from these smelly #socks. #awayfromtwitter

sapphoq n sapphoq's sock puppets say:The creator of this blog post has many #socks and email accounts to go with them.  The creator of this blog post understands the necessity of laughing gently at ourselves.                          If you or your #socks were #butthurt by this blog post, then maybe you are in the wrong #drawer.