Friday, February 29, 2008

Five for FryDay 2/29/08

xo_tara_xo of insane journal's asylum The Friday Five says: Something's gone terribly wrong with the F5 entry.

I keep putting in the questions and all that come up are the answers. So I look to you for the questions...

1. scrambled eggs and bacon

2. 11:34pm

3. *$%#@!

4. Banana Peel

5. Jello

Alrighty then, here are my questions:

1. What breakfast do you never eat anymore?
2. What time do you think you will go to bed tonight?
3. What do you think about working for a living?
4. What do you never put into banana bread?
5. What can you fill a bathtub with to make it an inviting place to have sex?

sapphoq n friends

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Politics of Dining

a shoutout to happyhead, thanks for this:

Anarchy: All the food is piled in the middle of the room and it's every person for themselves.

Theocracy: Your Pastor invites himself to dinner with you on Friday and forces everyone to eat fish.

Dictatorship: A single customer and his goons overthrow the restaurant and take control over the food. People that join or support them get better food. Those that don't, starve or get crappy food.

Monarchy: A family run restaurant that has been passed down through the generations. Every generation the restaurant is different. Some owners were kind and fair, charged reasonable prices for good food. Other owners were tyrants that overcharged the customers and served them slop. Some were just horribly inept or insane and pretty much ruined it.

Fascism: The restaurant rules with an iron hand. You eat whatever they decide to serve or you "leave".

Communism: Everyone gets the exact same meal (but if you hand the waiter a $20 he will bring out better food and dessert).

Oligarchy: The management is from a different restaurant chain. So that's why you see tacos and refried beans at a Chinese Buffet.

Republic: A party of customers votes on which one of them goes up and orders the food for the entire table.

Democracy: A party of customers all vote and argue over what dish ALL of them will have to eat. Two hours go by and they still haven't decided.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Wikileaking Wikileaks

Any of you who have been following the drama over at Wikileaks will be glad to know that following this here linkage: will get you there (a mirror site from Sweden) for the time being anyways. Alternate linkage outside of the United States was part of the original plan-- to have sites set up in various countries should the courts of one country succeed in getting a shutdown order. Here's another one, this one is based in England: .

Wikileaks protects whistle-blowers from corporations (or governments) who would much rather not have folks tattling on any suspicious practices. Recently, a Swiss bank challenged Wikileaks and now the site is facing a court battle with the United States versus responsible exercise of the First Amendment. Bloggers across the internet have protested the February 15 court decision and this blogger too joins in the fray. Buzz-flash has quite a few things to say about this whole mess over at: .

Quite amazing to me is that the court case took place in the United States. While the order to erase the D.N.S. from U.S. servers will certainly not hold up on appeal,<--- here it is disconcerting that this case involving documents regarding a Swiss bank doing business in the Cayman Islands made it court on United States soil. Still, we are far better off living here than in places like Egypt where one can be severely physically beaten for dissident web-surfing and document leaking or in Red China or even Vietnam where folks have been imprisoned for similar activities.

radical sapphoq
cross-posted all over

Monday, February 18, 2008

What Not to Do When M$ Windows Crashes

  1. Set fire to it and sacrifice it to an Aztec deity.
  2. Scream loudly, "M$ sucks!"
  3. Shove it into your pool to see if it floats.
  4. Strap it to your car roof and take it to the nearest computer fix-all storefront operation.
  5. Shovel a hole and bury it.
What to Do:

*Learn Linux*

sapphoq n friends

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Spam Mail Rag

Safe, approved, and trouble-free,
doing it up reliably. Shake those troubles from your head.
Your power tool rocks the house. Have a party in your bed.
Detox your sex life. Order your drugs on-line with total safety.
Get your loan. Pay your bill. Here's your invoice number.
Your account has been breached. Click here and see
what you won now. Dear Honorable Sir, I need your help.
Send me some money and I will give you back more.
Come to Nigeria and score, score, score.
Hurry hurry hurry get your fake degree.
Don't delay. Fabulous business opportunity today.


Wednesday, February 06, 2008


hail to the great 1588:

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu…

Tourist: $5

Broiled Missionary: $10.00

Fried Explorer: $15.00

Baked or Grilled Liberal: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, ‘Why such a price difference for the Politician?’

The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one? They’re so full of crap, it takes all morning.”

Potentially and Realistically

a big shout-out to Jake for this one:

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The mother replied,"Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

"Yes," the boy replied, "potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny
And an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind
From birth. One day, the

Bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering
Through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.

This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. "Oh, my," said the
Bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind
Since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an
Orphan, I don't even know what I am."
It's quite ok," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is as yours. I am
Also blind from birth and an orphan. I tell you what, maybe I could
Slither all over you, and work out what you are so at least you'll have
That going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered
All over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you
Have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony
Tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The
Bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
Paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth
And slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.
I'd say you must be either a team leader, supervisor or possibly someone
In senior management."

Friday, February 01, 2008

The Friday Five

No Friday Five posted at TheFridayFive insane journal asylum today so here are mine:

(1). What is your earliest memory?
I remember learning how to walk.
Or: What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
Getting married.

(2). Are there any gaps in your memories? (missing years...)
I remember very little of when I was in second grade compared to memories of other years.
Or: What is one of the worst things that ever happened to you?
I was raped. That was pretty bad and stayed bad for awhile.

(3). What is the freakiest thing you ever did that you feel like blogging about?
One time a friend and I made a paper chain and wrapped it around the car of a guy I liked at midnight.
Or: Pick your own question.
That one was okay.

(4). How has your relationship to time changed since you've gotten older?
Times feels faster to me now.
Or: What do you find to be totally boring?
Sometimes memes are boring. I am boring sometimes. And school was boring-- til I got to college.

(5). Have you or a relative or friend ever had memory loss?
I forgot some things after my traumatic brain injury but then as I remember them, I blog them so I don't forget again. Even when this was at it's worse, I scored in the 99th percentile on the memory tests that I took. I could recite nine digits forwards and backwards (almost ten) and I think more now. I could also remember 34 out of 35 pictures or words both immediately and after 5 or 10 minutes.
Or: Are you afraid of getting older?
Nope. And not afraid of death either. Been there. Done that. Ready to do it again. I mean, whenever it happens.