She calls on little Johnnie.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Johnnie says, "I have a question for YOU.
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Johnnie replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
Little Johnnie returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'and I said '6'", replies Little Johnnie.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f...... difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
Little Johnnie goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Little Johnnie says "Mas-tur-bate."
The teacher smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnnie, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnnie says, "No teacher, you're thinking of a blowjob."
All of a sudden, little Johnnie needed to go to the toilet.
He yelled out, "Teacher, I need to take a piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now little Johnnie, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and
I will allow you to go."
Little Johnnie thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
First, she called on Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael." Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Johnnie.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f...... beautiful!'"
Little Johnnie was sitting on a park bench eating one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."Little Johnnie replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnnie answered, "No, he minded his own f....... business."