Sunday, July 07, 2013

What is this Friend Thing You Speak Of




I am your friend.  But I cannot promise you forever.  Forever is way too long.  I will not lie.  Sometimes I will do things that you don't like.  Sometimes I will make decisions that you wouldn't have made.  Sometimes I will take care of myself rather than hang out with you.  I will not take care of you.

Taking care of you doesn't have the appeal for me that it used to have.  We cannot rescue each other.  That is not reality.  I will not want something for you more than you want it for yourself.  We are not children play-acting at house and chosen family routines.  We are not teens learning how to separate from our parents and from each other.  Because we are adults, there is no taking care of in this relationship.

I have my limitations.  There are times when by necessity I will disappoint you.  Life is like that.  I certainly will walk away before allowing you or anyone else to clip my wings.  I am my own free agent.  You are yours.  I am responsible for me and you are responsible for you.  I cannot fix things for you.  I've had to investigate what things bound me and what things freed me.  I will not do that work for you.  It is the highest insult to you were I to do so.

I am not good at indirectness or at interpreting your facial expressions or your acting out.  Use language and words or you will lose me.  If you want me to know something, tell me.  Preferably face-to-face but on the telephone at the very least.  Don't bother writing me notes about what upsets you.  We are not in high school.  I never understood that sort of thing when I was.  I don't get it now.

I am good at having fun.  We can go places together, pal around, explore the woods, sit in the backyard, hang out at the mall.  I'm game for most anything.  I am also good at silence.  Sometimes I may not want to talk much.  I am an observer.  I study.  Chattering is useless and irritating.  I am not afraid of the quiet.  I hope you aren't either.

I am your friend for the moment.  For however long we are here in the same space, let us enjoy each other.

sapphoq n friends    



    

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