LOVE VS. SPIRITUAL PROMISCUITY

Kitten asked me to define "love" and so I shall attempt to do so. Here are some things that LOVE is not: (1). Love is not loose. I don't 'love everyone.' I don't have to 'love everyone.' I refuse to 'love everyone.' I am not a love-whore. Love is therefore not the same as expressing goodwill. (2). Love is not indicriminate adoration. My crushes in the past have been just that-- crushes. How can I claim to 'love' someone when actually I am refusing to look past their public personna? (3). Love does not 'fill up the empty spaces' in those who are lacking sufficient self-esteem.

So then, what is love? (1). Love is specific. Love involves specific relationships with specific people. (2). Love is admiration PLUS a meeting of the minds if you will-- two people who meet find that they have certain values in common as well as appreciation for each other's qualities. (3). Love is an interconnection between two people who possess sufficient self-esteem and thus are able to use the love-relationship as a diving board from which they can dive into the depths rather than doing 'bellyflops.'

Nathaniel Branden: Valuing Love is the article from which I derive my definition of and my experiences with romantic love. Nathaniel Branden has written many books on self-esteem and many of his ideas have been useful in my life. It was through the reading of Nathaniel Branden books AND doing his fill-in programs in the back of most of his books AND embracing the six practices of self-esteem that I was able to increase my own self-esteem. I do not agree with all of his ideas [for instance: he glorifies heterosexuality] but I certainly have found a spiritual kindred with many of his views. If yous don't want to read his books, at least check out the article.

WHO DO I LOVE? I love my husband.

WHO DO I LOVE? [non-romantic]. I love my dad, my half-sister Kim, and some of my friends. I love my gram even though she is dead. I love ME. I have a sentence written in lipstick on my mirror. It says: this is a woman you can love and trust today.

WHO DON'T I LOVE? "Everyone."

~sapphoq