Bubba Knows

with a big shout-out to Richard


Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know,
I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone,
anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK,
Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock
on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise
shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend
come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After
they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks
Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to
Washington."

And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots
Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over,
saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way
to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and
let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not
totally convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses
his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name
anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and
I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are
assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when
Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the
Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what,
I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and
I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." and he
disappears into the crowd headed toward the
Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges
with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba
returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack
and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him,
"What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you
and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next
to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"