Monday, February 17, 2014

Ala-Pup Meeting



Sirius The Kitten: Welcome to the We Are Wonderful Group of Ala-Pup. My name is Sirius.

Bramble The Cat: Bramble.

Blondie The Dog: Blondie. Hey, why do you get to chair, Sirius? This is an Ala-Pup meeting. It's not an Ala-Kitty meeting.

Sirius The Kitten: Excuse me please. The dog is out of order. You'll get your turn, Blondie. Now go lay down over there and shut up.

Blondie The Dog: You're bossy. 

Sirius The Kitten: The Preamble. Ala-Pup is an organization set up to help four-footeds understand and care for their two-footeds properly. We put the fun back into dysfunctional. We help other four-footed to properly manage their two-footeds.

These are the steps of Ala-Pup:
1.   We admitted that our two-footeds were puzzling and not responding to our training very well, making our lives screwed up.
2.   We decided that putting in extra effort and helping each other to brainstorm led to better results than we had achieved on our own.
3.   We started attending meetings of Ala-Pup.
4.   We made a list of the assets and liabilities of our two-footeds.
5.   We shared our list at the local Ala-Pup meeting and got suggestions on how to improve our two-footeds.
6.   We committed to a training schedule, whether our two-footeds agreed or not.
7.   We continued to train our two-footeds regardless of what they said about it.
8.   We examined the results of our training efforts monthly.
9.   We revised our training programs as needed.
10.  We promptly admitted to each other our exasperation so that we would not take it out on our poor dumber two-footeds.
11.  We praised our two-footeds whenever they deserved it.
12.  We carried the message of Ala-Pup to other four-footeds who wanted happier lives with their two-footeds.

To qualify: My name is Sirius. I was dumped into a shelter as a baby where some nice women fussed over me and took care of me as best they could. One day, a couple adopted me and brought me home. There was an older cat there and a dog. They were sad because their younger kitty companion had died unexpectedly.

During the first month, I was called upon to be a crying rag for one of the two-footeds in particular. I found the local Ala-Pup meeting and committed to training the two-footeds that we share our home with. I saw results. There was a drastic increase in play time and toys. I was impressed.

During my second month, I had settled in nicely and began training the dog. I am still here. Ala-Pup helps me to keep the two-footeds under control. A happy cat makes for happy dogs and happy two-footeds. Thank-you.

Anyone have a topic for discussion? 

Blondie The Dog: This is an Ala-Pup meeting. I should be the chair, not you Sirius.

Sirius The Kitten: No one? Very well then. Let's--

Bramble The Cat: Whatever. Can we get on with it? It's almost time for my nap.

Blondie The Dog: Dammit Sirius.

Sirius The Kitten: A-hem. That's quite enough. Let's talk about how to counter resentments in our two-footeds and our doggie companions. Bramble, will you start please? 





c 2014 and beyond. This bad skit may be reproduced as long as you give credit to 
   sapphoq for its' origin.

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