More Little Johnnies

Little Johnnie was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.


Little Johnnie stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.


Little Johnnie said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

Little Johnnie replied, "Then you ask him".

***

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to
Little Johnnie who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.


Little Johnnie replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Little Johnnie replied, "They will in a minute."


***

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Little Johnnie answered, "Thou shall not kill."

***

One day
Little Johnnie was sitting and watching his mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. He suddenly noticed that his mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

He looked at his mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

His mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."


Little Johnnie thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

***

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'


Little Johnnie's voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

***

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"


Little Johnnie shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

***

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.


Little Johnnie had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."