Saturday, December 23, 2006

TAKING THE FUN OUT OF dysFUNctional 12/23/06


Tis the season to have to put up with those who had the nerve to keep on living.
I offer this guide on surviving get-togethers with those people who installed our buttons,
our families.

1. If they have a computer, you are home free. You can do what I am doing now, install yourself away from the chaos and work on various computer projects. You can pretend you are home. You only have to surface long enough to eat and open presents. Nerds are sposed to be anti-social and geeky anyways.

2. Cancel the holidays. Don't care for Christmas, Chaunakah, Yule, Solstice, or other.? Don't bother with them. Send out a tersely worded postcard informing your family that this year you aren't going to bother with any of it. Save your money, your time, and your sanity.

3. Got kids? Farm them out to various relations and take yourself on a cruise all by yourself for yourself.

4. Been to Alanon, have ya? Revert to your old survival skills by pretending that you are far weller than any of those people. Look down your nose at any who dare to speak to you. Eat as much as you can. Take the presents and run. You don't even have to thank them for inviting you to their home. It was your due anyways.

5. Some people don't have their families any longer and others never did. Some people live in places where they are not free to celebrate religious holidays or to voice their opinions. Some people don't have the basics that you may take for granted. Some people die before they are ever born. Some people aren't sitting in front of a computer screen in a warm house waiting for extravagant dinners or the unwrapping of individually picked out brightly colored packages. After all, that's THEIR problem.

sapphoq n friends

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