TALKING TIPS 12/27/06

Christmas day we were driving up a mountain on the way to a relative's house. I saw a wooden rooster that someone had created standing in a yard. It was made of blonde wood and about four feet high. I could not think of the word "rooster" and I tried to say, "Look at the cock." What came out was, "Look at the crow."

The process usually goes like this. I cannot think of a word so I substitute another one which sounds like the one I want and has the same approximate meaning. Sometimes, I get sounds mixed up which can further complicate things but not always. Once in awhile, I've got the correct word [not a substitution] but some of the sounds change places. Consequently, a word may get to sounding a bit off. This has become something that I am becoming used to happening once in awhile. Others in my life either don't notice, don't acknowledge it, or try to correct the wrong-sounding word.

Those who don't notice or don't acknowledge something odd goes on with an occasional word or sentence I don't mind so much. Those who try to correct the word usually get a protest from me, "Did you understand what I meant?" followed by, "Well, what does it matter?"

I figure as long as I can convey a basic idea, that should be good enough in most all circumstances.

So my first two talking tips for the talker [me] are:
1. Take my time to talk and slow down if I need to.
2. As long as they can get what I am trying to tell them, it doesn't matter if the words are not quite right.

And for the listener:
1. Allow me a bit of time to process a thought and finish words. Constantly interrupting or completing or correcting is annoying.
2. As long as you can get the general jist of what I am trying to tell you, it doesn't matter if the words not exact in meaning or pronunciation. You are not my English teacher.

And my biggest tip for the listener:
3. If I want your help, I will ask for it.

My biggest tip for my self:
3. Defensiveness is the antithesis of meaningful communication.


sapphoq n friends