A ROUND OF JOKES FOR DOCS 1/23/07

Joe and his three buddies are waiting on the men's tee while another foursome of ladies is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time, when finally the last lady is ready to hit the ball. She hacks it 10 feet, goes over, whiffs it, and then hacks it maybe another 10 feet, then hacks it another 5 feet.
She looks up at the men who are watching and says apologetically, "I guess all those ******* lessons I took this winter didn't help."
Joe immediately replies, "Well there you have it lady, You should have taken golf lessons instead."


Joe was on the seventh fairway when he hooked his ball into the trees on the side of the fairway. He marched in and soon found his ball. The ball was okay to be hit and driven back into the fairway. In front of the ball was a bunch of flowers. Joe took a full backswing, swung through the ball and drove it back into the short grass. In the swing, he tore the flowers into pieces.
Almost immediately, a cloud of gas formed in front of him. The gas began to take form and soon there stood a woman in a long flowing dress.
"How dare you?" she shouted.
Joe stepped back . "Who are you?"
"I'm Mother Nature," she said. "You destroyed those buttercups of mine. For such a vile act, you will not be able to enjoy butter for the next year. If you even think of butter, you will be sick." She disappeared with a wave of her hand.
True to her word, Joe had times when he tried to use butter, but vomited and had diarrhea. Mother Nature's words were true.
About a year later after a tough twelve months, Joe was golfing with his friend Bob, when Bob hit his ball into the rough. Bob walked in and looked around. Finally, he found his ball.
He said, "I found it, Joe. I can easily hit my ball back into play on the fairway. Just some stuff in front of it."
"Wait, Bob," Joe said, "let me take a look."
Joe walked into the rough. His eyes went wide.
"Oh no," he said. "Whatever you do, don't swing through those pussywillows."


Joe had a lot of trouble with golf. One day, he walked into the pro-shop. The golf pro looked up to find that Joe had a nine iron wrapped over his head. The darn thing looked like that joke stunt where someone has an arrow cut in half with a half-moon wire connecting the pieces and it looks like the arrow is straight through the temple.
"What happened?" the golf pro asked.
Joe rolled his eyes. "This crazy woman hit me; she went nuts."
"What do you mean?" the pro asked.
"Well I was on the seventh fairway when I hooked my ball into the cow pasture by the side. I climbed through the fence and began to look for my ball among the cattle. I found that a woman was searching also, obviously for her ball. Then I noted that a ball was stuck into one of the cows rear end under its tail. I lifted the tail and found that the ball had a daisy on the side. I turned to the woman and said, "Hey lady, this one looks like yours."

sapphoq n friends